"I swear to God, I'm going to lose my mind," Jennifer* announced as her video popped up on my screen. "Do you know what I did this morning? Before my 8AM board meeting? Before my investor call?" She didn’t wait for my response. "I bought his mother's birthday card. AGAIN. Because apparently, a seven-figure CEO still needs me to remind him about his own mother's birthday. And the worst part? His sister called to thank him for the ‘thoughtful’ card. And he just said, ‘you’re welcome.’" Her...
3 months ago • 3 min read
When you grow up with an Emotionally Immature Parent, being yourself isn’t an option. Instead, you build what I call a Survivor Self—a version of you that’s smaller, quieter, and “appropriate enough” to finally earn their love and attention. This happens due to something called Projective Identification—a concept at the heart of what I teach in Protect Your Peace. (FYI, if you haven’t already, sign up now for Protect Your Peace before it’s gone in just 72 hours!) Projective identification...
5 months ago • 2 min read
🎉 In just one day, the doors to my masterclass, Protect Your Peace, will be opening. You’ll learn how to stop second-guessing yourself, break free from your parents’ chaos, and finally feel confident standing your ground—without the guilt or anxiety holding you back. Seats sold out last year, so make sure you are on the waitlist by simply tapping here! I see you. How your voice softens—just enough to avoid setting them off. How you force a laugh at their cutting jokes, pretending they don’t...
6 months ago • 3 min read
Oh hi, Reader! I’m sliding into your inbox with a reminder. My email series is back, and this round is all about handling emotionally immature parents and healing the damage their behavior left behind. If you don’t remember signing up for anything from me, allow me to re-introduce myself: Hi! I’m Morgan Pommells. Hello from my not-quite-moved-in office space! I’m a therapist, coach, and doctoral researcher, and I help you break free from the parental programming that claims you're never...
7 months ago • 2 min read
"I’ve tried everything, but my partner still won’t change!" I hear this all the time. And the reality is, your partner might not change. No matter how hard you try, they might not be able to meet you where you need them. But if I am being really honest here—nine times out of ten, there is more to this story. As a child, your well-being DID depend on others changing—specifically your parents. You weren't equipped to meet your own emotional needs back then, so it really was all on them. Fast...
8 months ago • 3 min read
Let’s talk about the real culprit in your relationship. It’s not the mundane squabbles over chores, the deeper conflicts about emotional availability, or that time your partner was late to that important event. The real issue? It's how today’s triggers set off yesterday’s old defense mechanisms—all because of how your nervous system is wired after trauma. Take my experience, for example. A decade ago, 90 Day Fiancé almost ended my relationship. I was excited to share my latest TV obsession...
9 months ago • 3 min read
I have a vulnerability hangover, yall. I don't usually talk about myself in my emails, and to be honest, I was really nervous to hit send on my last one. If you haven't read it yet, you can do so here. In that email, we explored my past pursuing behaviours in relationships, created by my own childhood trauma. But this week, I want to shed light on the other side of this dance: my partner's experience as the withdrawer. Let's pick up where we left off in that living room in 2016, surrounded by...
9 months ago • 3 min read
It’s the Summer of 2016. For months, I'd been orchestrating the perfect birthday surprise for my partner: a weekend in New York, meticulously planned with his favorite activities. The day arrived, and I could barely contain my excitement. I led him to the living room, where I'd arranged a display of brochures, tickets, and a lovingly crafted itinerary. "Surprise! We're off to New York this weekend! I've got it all planned - your favourite pizzeria, tickets to that show you love, even the boat...
9 months ago • 3 min read