I see you.
How your voice softens—just enough to avoid setting them off.
How you force a laugh at their cutting jokes, pretending they don’t sting.
How you shrink yourself—hiding your feelings, your thoughts—because smaller feels safer.
That’s what they do to you.
With the sheer weight of their presence.
The way it makes you disappear, twisting yourself into someone you aren't.
This pretending is a near universal experience for the Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
And while it has absolutely worked to keep you safe from them, it's also now reinforcing your own wounding.
Every time you shrink yourself, every time you swallow the sting of their words, every time you absorb their chaos—you’re not just surviving. You’re losing pieces of who you are.
I want you to think about the last time you were in the room with your Emotionally Immature Parent:
...Did you brush off a comment that cut too deep?
...Hold back your real thoughts because you didn’t want to deal with the fallout?
...Step in to smooth things over, even though it left you feeling hollow?
This makes sense - it was the only way you knew to survive growing up.
But safety isn't supposed to feel like suffocation anymore, Beloved.
You're a whole adult now.
That ache in your chest when you're around them—that's your buried self, screaming to breathe.
And that's the voice we need to listen to.
To be clear: I’m not saying you should confront your Emotionally Immature Parent, explain how much they’ve hurt you, or try to make them change.
Far from it.
This cycle doesn’t break by changing them.
This cycle breaks when you realize their painful behaviour comes from a place that doesn't deserve the power or authority you've given it.
Here's whats worked for me and hundreds of my students:
When I stopped expecting my parent to act like the adult I needed and started seeing them as emotionally frozen, still responding from a much younger age—everything shifted.
I began to recognize their behaviors for what they were:
...When they spiral, unable to self-soothe and demanding you fix everything, that’s a toddler (ages 2-4), overwhelmed and helpless.
...When they make everything revolve around them, demanding your attention and leaving no space for anyone else, that’s a school-aged child (ages 6-10), caught up in their need to feel important.
...When they throw subtle digs or precisely aimed comments that leave you questioning yourself, that’s a pre-teen (ages 10-12), testing how much power their words can hold.
By realizing these comments aren’t coming from the wise, all-knowing parent you once hoped for, their ability to shake your confidence fades.
They stop dictating your worth.
And their chaos? It stops pulling you under.
(Think about it: would you let a toddler’s meltdown convince you that YOU'RE fundamentally unloveable?)
I now have a whole model built around this approach that I teach to many of my students, and here's what they consistently tell me:
When you realize your Emotionally Immature Parent is reacting like a scared child or defiant teenager, it becomes clear their behavior is about their unresolved issues—not about you.
And that is incredibly freeing.
Even more rewarding? When you stop reacting to their jabs and baits for conflict in the way they want, it all fizzles out.
Why? Because your Emotionally Immature Parent is not getting the reaction they’re looking for anymore.
Without your responses fueling them, their chaos can lose steam.
So, the next time you’re in the room with them—or gearing up for that dreaded Sunday phone call—pause.
Take a breath and ask yourself: What emotional age am I really dealing with right now?
Then ask: If this is just a toddler’s tantrum or a pre-teen’s power play, is it really worth my energy to prove myself? Would I ever waste this much of myself trying to convince a child I’m good enough?
This perspective shift can change everything for you—if you truly pause and let it.
This approach to seeing your parents is just one of the foundational reframes we start with in Protect Your Peace, my December 7th masterclass.
Join the waitlist here.
Inside, you'll learn how to stay steady when they spiral—without getting swept up in their chaos or carrying the weight of their emotional storms.
This year, I’ve also added a bonus session just for you: how to rebuild self-love and reclaim your worth after years of walking on eggshells.
Because it’s time we undo what they did, Beloved.
The doors to Protect Your Peace open in just a few days.
Because so many of us live this pattern—but so few experts truly understand how to break it—spots will fill really quickly. (Last year, we sold out).
To make sure your name is on the waiting list, just tap here and I will make sure to send you the invite first 💕
With all my love,
Morgan
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