The How to Love After Childhood Trauma Valentine’s Day flash sale is here—but only for 48 more hours. Use code VDAY25 to save $175 on my relationship program for survivors. And if you want even more support, you can also upgrade to live group coaching calls with me. 🎉 Click here to start creating the love you crave.

When Jennifer* first came to me, she was convinced she had a communication problem.

Her partner never listened. She believed that if she could just find the right way to say things then he’d finally start showing up.

Yet no matter how carefully she phrased it, she kept getting the same response:

Defensiveness. Withdrawal. And more proof that her needs would never be met unless she forced it.

She thought she was doing everything right, so why wasn't it working?

Because even though Jennifer was trying to communicate her needs, her body was communicating something else entirely.

Her words were saying, “I need support.”

But her tone, energy, and delivery said: “You’re failing me.”

And whether or not she meant it that way, her partner felt it.

Thanks to mirror neurons, our bodies pick up on the emotions behind words. So when a conversation feels like criticism—even unintentionally—the other person doesn’t lean in. They shut down.

Now, this wasn’t Jennifer’s fault. She wasn’t trying to criticize him—she was actually really scared.

She grew up with emotional neglect and rejection, so when her partner forgot something or brushed her off, her body sounded the alarm.

Panic. Tightness. And before she could stop it—frustration, urgency, blame—spilling out fast.

That’s why fixing her communication wasn’t actually her first step.

Before she could change what she was saying, she had to change how her body was reacting.

This is exactly what she did first in How to Love After Childhood Trauma.​

Step 1: Reclaiming Peace in Your Body

In Modules 4-6 of How to love, I teach you my three-step formula for regulating your nervous system and calming your trauma triggers—because without this foundational step, every conversation, every request, and every misunderstanding will continue to trigger emotional responses from the past, making it impossible to communicate effectively and get your needs met.

For Jennifer, doing this specific work meant:

✅ No longer reacting from panic. Instead of spiraling every time she felt unheard, she learned to quickly pause, regulate, and respond fairly—without her body going into fight-or-flight mode.

✅ Feeling safe—even when things went wrong. A misstep from her partner didn’t send her spiraling anymore. A relief not just for her relationship, but for the high-pressure demands of her job too.

"I learned to exhale and show my body that not everything was the catastrophe or personal slight it used to be," she said.

In short, How to Love gave her the tools to rewire her nervous system so she could stay calm, stay grounded, and finally feel at peace inside her own body.

Step 2: Getting Clear on What You Actually Need

Once Jennifer’s nervous system stopped treating every misstep as a crisis, she thought communication would finally be easy.

But when we got to the communication module, she realized—she didn’t actually know what to communicate.

She could list everything her partner did wrong, but when I asked, "What do you actually need? What do you, as a person, need to feel supported, connected, and valued?"

She had no idea.

When you don’t know what you need, it’s easy to fall into complaining or critcism instead of making clear requests.

Complaints are a way to express the frustration of something missing, even though you can't pinpoint exactly what that is.

That’s why in Module 10 of How to Love After Childhood Trauma, I show you how to identify and articulate your core attachment needs—so you know exactly what you need from your partner and can express it clearly.

The program also includes a personalized needs assessment to guide you through identifying your own.

For Jennifer, this changed everything. Once she identified her deeper desires, she realized her frustration wasn’t random—it stemmed from unmet needs she hadn’t fully understood:

✅ The need to be celebrated, not just supported. She wasn’t just looking for comfort when things were hard—she needed her partner to notice and acknowledge the moments she was thriving.

✅ The need for love to feel specific, not just assumed. “I love you” wasn’t enough. She needed love expressed in intentional, tangible ways, like planning something meaningful for her birthday or making an effort on Valentine’s Day.

✅ The need to feel emotionally safe when expressing a need. She wasn’t just afraid of being ignored—she was afraid of being punished for having needs, bracing for withdrawal, frustration, or defensiveness every time she spoke up.

In sum, Jennifer finally had the words to ask for what she longed for—no more second-guessing, no more confusion. To make it even easier, she had him take the assessment too. They printed them out and stuck them on the fridge—a daily reminder of what actually matters.

Step 3: Communicating Effectively

Now, this is where we finally get to communication.

Because Jennifer was right—she did need support here.

But not in the way she thought.

She believed she needed strategies to get through to her partner.

She wanted me to tell her the perfect way to say things so he would finally listen, finally step up, finally understand.

But what she actually needed were strategies to express herself without slipping into criticism, blame, or proof-gathering.

Because Jennifer wasn’t making requests—she was making a case.

❌ She wanted to feel celebrated—but she said “You never make me feel important.”

❌ She wanted love to feel specific—but she said, “You don’t even put effort into our relationship.”

❌ She wanted to feel emotionally safe expressing a need—but she said, “You always shut down and leave me guessing.”

She was stuck proving her pain instead of stating what she needed to feel loved—another relic of growing up with dismissive parents.

And to her partner, it felt like he was always on trial, never able to get it right.

That’s why in Module 8 of How to Love After Childhood Trauma, I teach you exactly how to shift from complaints to connection—using evidence based communication strategies that help you actually get your needs met instead of just proving why they aren’t.

For Jennifer, completing this module was the difference between talking in circles and actually feeling seen:

✅ She learned to express her needs in a way that her partner could truly hear, allowing for deeper connection and understanding.

✅ She learned to communicate with confidence, knowing her needs were valid, no longer second-guessing or fearing she was asking for too much.

✅ She set a new standard for communication in her relationship, creating a healthier dynamic where both of them could work to meet each other with more clarity and respect.

In short, she finally felt understood—and her relationship felt easier, more connected, and more supportive because of it.

These weren’t just Jennifer’s wins—they’re real, tangible shifts you can make once you learn the skills you should have been taught as a kid.

*AND*

I also want to be clear—I’m not here to sell you a pipe dream.

Changing your relationship dynamics takes work.

But you’re already working so hard. You’re already putting in the effort—trying to be patient, trying to explain, trying to make things better.

So why not work on the things that actually will?

Why not put your energy into the skills that shift these patterns for good—so you’re not just fighting to be understood, but actually getting what you need?

This is exactly what How to Love After Childhood Trauma is designed to teach you.

And right now, I’m offering $175 off the program for Valentine’s Day for just a couple days longer.

In my 13-module program, I show you exactly how to break these engrained childhood patterns and finally build the kind of relationship that feels reciprocal and secure.

With scripts, exercises, and proven techniques, you’ll get the exact tools to:

✨ Identify how your attachment style keeps pulling you into the same patterns with your partner and finally break the cycle.

✨ Learn my three-step formula to soothing your trauma triggers, so they stop running your relationships.

✨ Pin down what you actually need more of (or less of) in your relationship—and how to effectively communicate this without over-explaining or slipping into criticism.

✨ Navigate conflict in healthy ways that bring you closer together and resolves the issue at hand.

✨ Rewire trauma-driven beliefs so you can finally start to feel worthy of the love you want.

✨ Recognize whether your partner is capable of healthy love—or if you'll always be stuck doing all the work alone.

When you purchase How to Love, you get lifetime access to the full curriculum—so you can go through it at your own pace and revisit it whenever you need. And if you want EVEN more support, you can upgrade to live group coaching calls with me. 🎉

Through the group coaching calls, you’ll get direct feedback from me on your toughest relationship challenges, so you’re not stuck second-guessing yourself.

You’ll have the space to ask—Are my needs actually too much? And what is my partner's role in all of this?—and get real answers.

And as you hear others work through the same struggles, you’ll gain the kind of clarity and understanding you have been craving.

To ensure everyone gets the support they actually need, these Q&A coaching calls are only open to new and past How to Love students. The number of spots available is also limited so that the calls remain intimate.

And if you're not sure if this will actually work for you, I get it—there are a lot of online programs out there. So, here's what past students had to say:

If you're ready to start learning the fundamental skills that all survivors need to create healthy and healing love, then now is the chance.

This flash sale only lasts for 48 hours, so you don't want to wait. Use the code VDAY25 at checkout.

Whether you go with the self-paced option, or upgrade to group coaching, this is your chance to stop repeating the same painful patterns and finally build the kind of relationship that lasts.

You should find all the info you need on the course sign up page, but I'm here if you have any further questions!

Morgan

Disclaimer: The case study presented in this email is a composite based on the experiences of hundreds of students who have participated in How to Love After Childhood Trauma. These experiences have been anonymized and generalized to protect confidentiality, and any resemblance to specific individuals is purely coincidental. This email is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute therapy, medical advice, or a professional relationship. Participation in How to Love After Childhood Trauma is separate from any therapy services provided by Morgan and does not establish a therapist-client relationship. If you require mental health support, please seek assistance from a licensed professional or crisis service in your area.